The black community lost another one of its own recently. In responding to the outcry of support that the victim received on social media, I suggested that there were a number of ways concerned white people could be involved outside of social media campaigns that would be quickly forgotten. Rather than answer the specific question … Continue reading 51 questions to get you started
I am a 35 year old African-American woman. I had my first—and last—kiss (or kisses, depending on how you count) five days after turning 34 and had my only boyfriend in the summer and fall of 2004. I am a few months into recovery from heartbreak by being unseen when I’d at least hoped to be considered … Continue reading Single Ladies Catechism
The 21st has come and gone and I’m sad to see it go. I type this with a left hand of freshly calloused fingers, with Prosecco gummy bears making their way to my stomach, and with a soul aglow. Last night, I got to spend three and a half hours praying, worshiping and feasting with … Continue reading Single Ladies’ Prayer Night
The way it was supposed to work was I go abroad, discover this exotic legume, and, like any good expat, rave about it to friends and family back home. When it came to red bean, though, I just couldn’t. When I lived in China, I would often buy sweets I believed to be chocolate flavored. … Continue reading Red Bean and Singleness: The un-chocolate imposters
“What if I never get married?” my friend asked through sobs. “What if you never get married?” I pushed a little, treading cautiously, “It’s not incompatible with God’s character and goodness that you could remain single while still desiring marriage for the rest of your life.” Silence. “What do you think the Lord might have … Continue reading Enough is Enough: Grace for an approaching army
Unlike my other insecurities, my race felt like a death sentence. The search for the secret to being chosen was supposed to unearth something I could change, but what could I do about being black? A loving and wise Father made me this way but could he work around it? Seven out of ten black … Continue reading I Might Be Beautiful: Black, evangelical, and single
My Independent Woman™ ire flared when I learned in Lao language class how to respond to “Are you married?” There were only two answers: yes and not yet. I attempted “no” in conversation, but was always corrected. I wasn’t married. And, I didn’t know if I ever would be. I wanted to be, but I … Continue reading More than Survivors: Living Single
The date was marked in my Google calendar. A friend had sent the invite. I was supposed to get married this weekend. If you’re wondering where your invitation is, well, it’s not happening. In 2008, I moved back to the US from China. My goals were grad school and going back abroad. I had this … Continue reading I Was Supposed to Get Married This Weekend
This morning I’ll be speaking with you briefly about the framework the Bible provides for how to love the immigrant. I also want to let you know up front what this talk isn’t about: immigration policy. I’m not even really going to talk about how we as Americans should think about immigrants, but about how … Continue reading No Longer Strangers: A Biblical Framework for Loving our Immigrant Neighbor Well
Lately, my journal has been filled more with admissions that I don't know how to pray than with prayers themselves when it comes to the boy. So, I ask God to teach me. I've been lamenting that here I am, once again, desiring someone who doesn't desire me, feeling overly emotionally invested in something so … Continue reading That Intended Joy: God’s Goodness Wrapped in a Man Who Doesn’t Return My Affection
Feet Cry Mercy 